The Walmart Chronicles

We have had a few adventures at Walmart lately.  I honestly shop at Walmart about once a month.  This month I went twice and I paid dearly for it.

I took all three kids to Walmart because we needed groceries and non grocery items and I wasn't in the mood to buckle everyone up, unbuckle everyn, unload the kids from the minivan, shop with the kid, load the kids back into the van, buckle the kids into their car seats, drive, unbuckle the kids from their car seats, unload the kids from the minivan, shop with the kids again, load the kids into the minivan again, buckle them in again...you get the idea (aka: haul all three kids to two stores)

So we had a very successful trip, the big kids rode on the side of the cart and Molly was ok with sitting in the seat of the cart.  We played "find the food" and "all aboard (the cart is ready to move)" and filled the cart to the top with much needed items.  We were almost done, in the very back at the milk and orange juice.  I opened the refrigerator door to get out some orange juice and hit Marlin in the head with the door.  It didn't feel like I hit him that hard.  I didn't even turn around to look at him until I had reached in to get the orange juice.  When I turned around he was holding his forehead and crying.  Blood was running down his face.  It did not look good. 

Then the chaos hit...

Alivia saw the blood (that Marlin was un aware of at this point)  Alivia screamed and panicked and started freaking out. 

Molly decided that there was a lot going on and she was missing it so she didn't want to be in the cart anymore and started screaming to get out. 

I needed something to wipe the blood off so I could decide if this was a bandaid emergency or a stiches emergency.  I was thinking it would be stiches.  So I pulled the cart with Molly screaming and arching her back, Alivia freaking out and Marlin crying with blood all over his face and hand down the isles to the bathroom area where I ran into a Walmart employee who ran to get me a first aid kit.  As we were headed to the bathroom I remember thinking "even if we have to go to the hospital, I am buying this stuff first because I am not taking all the kids back here to do this shopping trip again."  I'm such an ass but hey, I have three kids.  If it would have been my first or second trip to the emergency room I would have probably skipped the check out lane. 

Once we got the blood cleared away I saw that we did not need stitches.  I thanked the lady for her help and her tiny bandage and I hauled our circus to the first aid supply isle.  We sat down in the middle of the isle and opened antibiotic cream, butterfly bandages and spiderman band aids and fixed my little man right up.  No problemo.  Did I listen to the Karma gods and stay away from Walmart?  Nope

The next week we returned to walmart where we needed to buy some non grocery items.  We were in the toothpaste isle.  Everyone was picking out  new toothbrushes and new toothpaste.  I decided to try the blue mouthwash for kids.  The idea is that you rinse before you brush and then you have to brush the blue off your teeth.   Brilliant (btw the bottle is still full and in my bathroom if anyone wants it).  So as we walked along Molly was riding in the back of the cart and throwing things out of the cart.  No big deal, the big kids pick the things up and it keeps them all entertained.  Then she threw the blue dye mouthwash out of the cart and everything started moving in slow motion. 

As the bottle hit the floor I saw it split open and start glugging blue dye into an enormous puddle on the floor.  At that exact moment Marlin was stepping forward and he stepped into it, slipped around for quite some time and landed face down in the puddle.  It was on his face, his sweater and his tan pants.  Marlin was crying, Molly was laughing and Alivia was freaking out because she thought we would be in trouble.  I thought that too but I didn't care.  I was hoping someone would notice and help but they didn't so I dragged the crying blue Marlin to the laundry detergent isle and sprayed him down with Shout stain remover.  I needed to buy some more stain remover anyway. 

I threw the stain remover in the cart and headed to the check out lane.  On our way there I passed an employee that  noticed my blue child and I said "we made a mess in the mouthwash isle, you might want to check it out" and then I jsut kept on walking.  I have not been back to the store since.  I'm not sure they will let us back in. 

Shopping with three

Before Molly was born I still took Alivia and Marlin almost everywhere I went. They were good at the grocery store and if they weren't I could put one in the seat of the cart and one in the back and race through the store getting just what I needed.

Now that I have three children I have sworn many times that I am NEVER taking them all to the grocery store again. Every time I have said it I have meant it from the bottom of my soul. At least for a year I do not plan to take all three kids to the store.

Unfortunately I keep forgetting the details of why exactly it is so hard to take all the kids to the store so yesterday when I needed diapers and Matt was at Mike and Cortney's helping cut down some trees, so I took the kids to Kroger. Big mistake.

I should have known when I was picking Alivia up at the babysitter and she had to have a time out before we could go that it was not a good day for shopping. (but I had one diaper for molly left) Despite the warnings, we went anyway.

While unloading the children from the car into the 3 degree winter air Alivia was saying, I don't like shopping, I don't want to go shopping. I grabbed Marlin's hand and Molly's car seat and said "come on lets run" and we all ran into the store. The big kids thought that was fun for 30 seconds. Then we hit the carts. Alivia wanted the huge cart with the big plastic attachment that two kids can sit in and ride together. The problem is that they can reach each other and they like to climb in and out of it constantly while bickering and bothering each other so I said no, put molly's car seat in the front of a normal cart and we headed into the store.

I will admit that it is nice to have them begging for fruit. Alivia ran to the cut up watermelon and started screaming, "buy me this mama, I'm starving." We have been working on how to ask nicely (for four years) so the watermelon was not an option. Now we had an unhappy Alivia, (more unhappy than the winy one that I dragged out of the car) to get the rest of the way through the grocery store. Luckily I only needed diapers. We headed for the diaper isle, on the way Marlin and Alivia asked for everything that was on a shelf and lower than 3 feet. We finally got the diapers and Alivia announce that she needed to go to the bathroom. Instead of rushing I went to the self check and paid for the groceries that I was buying. Somehow only getting diapers turned into 50 dollars worth of groceries...of course.

By the time I had paid for the groceries she had to go and the bathrooms were right there. I opened the door and told her to go in and I would wait right here with marlin, molly and the cart of groceries. She wanted me to go with her. I tried to explain that she had gone in that bathroom by herself before, there was no one in there, and that I couldn't fit the cart in there so we would wait out here. She refused to go and we headed home. Then she started screaming, "I have to peee really bad!" A lady came over and informed me that Alivia needed to use the potty. Grrr no kidding lady back off you have no idea what you are jumping into here.
I took Alivia back to the bathroom and she went in. I waited about 20 seconds with the little kids then I pushed the door open to check on her. She was standing there in a puddle of pee. So we left the store and headed into the 5 degree winter air with wet pants and all. I love all three children with all my heart BUT I am never taking them all to the store again.